Complex No. 6 - The turtle and the rabbit

[Complex]

I guess it's fine, especially when I still have time to let myself go once in a while and stay in bed an extra hour. Which I deserve by the way!

Today is one of those days where I have to hold myself back. I'm kind of desperate for some interaction with W. I wish we could have a real and sincere conversation or just do sth together. I want to show my new me. We barely see each other atm. But I have to be patient.
I have no clue what OM status is..almost certain there's no PA or anything intense going on...it's circling still but I have it under control.
In general I don't think it's a bad idea to start a little conversation when W is around, if I'm in the right mindset. Usually those are friendly. Right now it might make me miss her even more tho and I'm tempted to pursue, there's things in my head I want to say which I shouldn't. But I think I can control it. I'm def in a much better place than before, which stupidly sometimes makes me believe I can pursue her now with my new mindset.
Then on the other hand I feel very sexually attracted by W at the moment. It's been a few months..I keep thinking of her. Drives me a little crazy at the moment.

I just have to accept right now that I have no idea where my sitch is going. Most likely it will still get worse. Much worse. I want to be prepared. I'm also afraid of the fact that I can't have a clean cut and that full healing is still years away