This forum is so confusing sometimes!! One person is telling someone to validate his wife's feelings and sitting there listening to them talk about the feelings they have for another person. Another person is telling these people to be strong and detach from their wife when they are doing this stuff. And to set boundaries. I get so confused about what is the right way to go and what is the wrong way to go. I get frustrated dealing with my situation. Am I handling it right? After reading different posts, I get more confused!! And sometimes I get that feeling that all this is hopeless!! What is the deal with all these people cheating and having EA and walking away from their marriages??
I would say having a conversation with someone that is wayward is mostly a waste of time. If you were going to try that route then yes validate their feelings, that does not mean you agree with them just that they are allowed to have their own feelings.
I will say that DETACH is the single most important thing that the LBS can do IMHO.
You have to understand that this is all training and what you learn now you must continue to implement.
I know that being counter intuitive seems to make no sense but eventually you will start to understand.
