I'm 35, married for going on 12 years. The DH and I have been struggling off and on over the years, and separated for four months back in 2006. The themes of our conflicts always revolve around finances, differences in personality (he's extroverted, I'm introverted), differences of opinion around things like the house, etc. We have a big blow out fight, we throw insults, an occasional glass, try to come to a resolution, and do it all over again a few weeks later. Yesterday was one of these fights. I am tired of this pattern.
I have been thinking about divorce off and on for a while now. I could go on and on about why I haven't taken that step yet, but to sum it up-I am the sole breadwinner-he stays at home and tries to work as an artist. If I left, he'd be homeless and peniless (except for whatever spousal support I had to pay). AND, I am quite shy and reserved, and over the years the isolation has gotten worse. My friends kinda bailed after we got back together after the separation, and now all the friends in my life are people I know through him. I am quite alone.
I guess I'm here because outside of my family, I have no supports. I work, I go to the gym, and I go home to him. We don't have any kids, and have gone back and forth over whether to try, but honestly if we can't get it together, I don't feel having a kid would be responsible anyways. I want to fix this so we are both happy and feel our needs and wants are being met.
