Gotcha, Rick! One thing I know about myself is that I suuck with uncertainty...I hate it lol! So, sometimes I've noticed that I try to push things too quickly with women to evade "uncertainty"...this time I'm gonna try to just coast a bit and enjoy without getting too heavy. But, I also know these things can go south real fast...and you never really know why. The heart is a very complicated organ lol...probably though, it's the brain that fuucks it all up
Wii: Just remember that she is NOT SDA lady. A totally different person. SDA lady was very slow to respond. I think that was because she was testing the R. She might not have been as "into it" as you. Now - this girl is different in that she IS showing interest.
I'm still uncertain why you would limit yourself to one culture. Especially when you are not Asian yourself. But it's your call. I think the wider your broaden your horizon - the better your chances of finding the right one.
Wii: Just remember that she is NOT SDA lady. A totally different person.
I agree with Barb on this. The culture may be the same but each person is different so treat her and your interactions with her that way.
I don't think you've mentioned her "story" yet, i.e. is she recently divorced, never married, etc. Does she have children; are you guys about the same age and at the same place in life? How long has she lived in Canada and does she have other family members living near her? If I remember correctly SDA was living here by herself and all of her family were still in the Philippines which perhaps made her be too dependent on you.
You're a nice and compassionate guy Wii and deserve a genuinely nice woman in your life - I'm pulling for you! Keep us posted!
my point was just that Asians tend to be much more ok with going slow than in my culture. Of course, they are different people. Btw, the last woman I was messaging with was black...and I didn't approach AM she approached me. She suggested we become FB friends and she gave me her phone number "in case of emergencies ha ha ha"...I didn't ask. I also don't want to crap where I live...it's a small church and I sure don't want to create any situations...so slow is good. She may just want to be my friend...we'll see
BA, you asked about her story. What I know so far is that she is a caregiver living with her employer. She's been in Canada three months now. She worked in Hong Kong for a few years previous to this. Her family is in the Philippines (6 hours outside of Manila)...she has two sisters. She was a teacher in the Philippines. She's also been a life long Adventist and loves the Lord and her faith. Initially when I met her it was through Church Lady who brought her to me and said to her "talk to him in Cantonese, he'll talk to you" (It was like I was a zoo animal lol) and we began to talk about HK. At the Valentine's lunch AM sat beside me and we chatted a bit (that's where she told me it's best to stay within the faith relationship wise). I asked her about her situation and she said softly and teasingly "for now, that's my secret OK" I wasn't looking at her as a prospective partner and said "sure, no problem". She's also at least 20 years younger than me...which was another reason I really didn't see her as a possible. We've been socializing in the same group and just started FBing and texting in the last nine days or so. Saturday she had that crisis at work and turned to me. That's what I know so far. We seem to enjoy our interactions and talking about the present. She knows a bit about my past. She's asked me whether my wife and I could reconcile and I said "no chance" she also teased me about maybe I'd like to see my Filipino gf again and once more I said "no thanks". So that's it. Again, embers may glow or die out...who knows.
Lastly, I believe she is married but separated. There is no divorce in the Philippines and often women will start divorce proceedings from Canada...although it won't be recognized back home. It is considered a very shameful thing. On her FB page gf's have teased her twice about men and she has replied "Sorry folks, no love affairs here...near or far!" She'll tell me when she's ready.
Thanks BA. It will work out...one way or another lol! I think I've been through this stuff enough to know it could go either way. I think I'm resigned to it. She's also joining my Sabbath School class. I asked her why she does SS homework but doesn't come to class. She said she's just late getting up. I told her what class I'm in and she's welcome to join us. I told her who was in it...the over 80 crowd. She said "OK, I'll try and come early on Sabbath. I'm gonna be in the old folks class ha ha". Tonight is my two hour trip to church for bible study and prayer. Onwards dbers!
OK Dbers, I've asked AM out for dinner Friday night...she says "I'd like that, you're so cool!" She said she didn't want to be alone Friday night or she'd be depressed (due to her work sitch) so I stepped up...what a trooper I am!
