Claire learning to accept

[Zues126]

You know Claire7...I'm right there with you. I still have swings of sadness and pain, but more and more my overall life is going pretty gosh darn well. More and more I'm totally fine.

I just had a quick email exchange with STBX and it was like touching a bruise. Still a bit tender, but not causing pain unless I actively prod myself. It used to hurt like I was in the electric chair. I'm pretty happy with bruise

I've got an awesome family (In fact, I feel like I've got more of a family), I've got a challenging job, good friends, and some passions that keep me really engaged.

Yesterday I did something that I've been putting off for a while and assembled/installed two bookshelves in my apartment, then unpacked 6 boxes of books and filled those shelves up. Oh, and covered the top with another box of trophies. I'm actually not a huge trophy guy but I couldn't throw them away.

Somehow seeing the trophies (from work and from pool), all the books that I've read (fiction, philosophy, religion, history, politics, humor, game theory, classics), I don't know...I just felt really good about who I am. Also, I think all those books reminded me of different times in my life when I read them, and it made me remember who I am. I just really like me.

In my M I was darn near suicide. It was a terrible M. I hated it. My W was a terrible W. I was a terrible H. It didn't work. I still don't believe that this was the solution, but hey, spilled milk. And while it doesn't match my beliefs, there is no question it is less difficult and painful because the misery is over.

Lots of rambling. Point is that I too have found myself losing interest in how my STBX is interpreting my words (or lack of them), blah blah blah. I know where I'm not wanted so as my DB coach said "I'll just take my changes and play over here"...

Glad you're doing well and wishing you a wonderful rest of the week.