Seperated -she is with someone, I'm desperate (3)

[vdubber]

So I told her i wouldn't be home until 730. She told me to text her when I did and I simply said I'm home now, you are welcome to stop by if you would like but I didn't want her to feel she had to so no worries either way. She said maybe she would wait as she would feel she was intruding. I said I understood and it was no worries, have a good night. I get a response of "Fine".

I realize she was waiting for me to insist on her coming by but I simply didn't feel like begging so I didn't . Yes I would have liked to have seen her, but not out of a sense obligation or guilt. Yes she probably feels guilty not being here when all of our kids are...good.

I know I seem a bit angry. On her bday just 3 months ago I picked up kids so she could see her friends for a couple hours and I bought gifts from kids and i, and brought home Chinese food and a cheesecake and ice cream. Yep, another example of me kissing her a$$ while she was with others even though I didn't know at the time as I was stupid.

The W I had was beautiful, smart, creative, kind, thoughtful, caring, and a true inspiration. The W now is pretty much the opposite of all of those things with the exception of her beauty which haunts me still.

I'm off to bed as this one is in the books and it's only uphill for me from here I hope. Night to all...