I am so proud of you and your courage in taking that critical step for YOU. You do matter...very much so. I also hope you would look into IC to work through some issues of self-worth and learn from these unhealthy patterns.
Some people attract unhealthy partners unconsicously because they have some underlying unresolved issues with self-worth or self-esteem that puts them in situations where abuse occurs. Please understand that I am not saying it is your fault...the point I am making here is that when one works through those issues and comes to an undeerstanding of them, then that very particular issue falls away because the lesson has been absorbed.
In my mind, you are not just DBing your H to get back in the M, but rather putting up with that sort of abuse. To me, that is not okay.
You might be interested in reading a book by Doreen Virtue on assertiveness. Very good stuff in there.
