Alpha and WAW - part 2

[alpha99]

Thanks Train, that's good advice. I feel slightly better than I did an hour or so ago. I know tomorrow is going to be hard, maybe the hardest day of my life so far.

The way I feel right now I am struggling to see a happy way out of this. I don't sense anything from my wife other than a desire to move on. If you could see the anger in her face when I just suggested that I, as their father, would like to look after the kids for a few nights each week. She seems to have been empowered by her aunty lawyer and family telling her she is in control.

She said I one point that she won't stand for me rolling up and saying I will do this and that (I never did this for a second by the way) because from now on she will be deciding everything and calling all the shots.

At this very moment I bloody hate her for what she is doing. I feel my children slipping away and the precious moments of their childhood passing without me being there to witness them. It seems I have all the odds stacked against me. She did say she is alone, not seeing anyone, and has no plans to at the moment. Despite everything I do believe her on that front. Maybe I'm just being naive... If it is the case then I suppose there is hope for one day in the future. She did say, I don't think so, rather than a simple no, when asked if we one day might work things out.

Tomorrow evening I am at a friend's house to play poker. Wednesday I am at a language meet up (something new for me, I don't know anyone there). I am trying hard to GAL but this is so, so hard, unbelievably hard. I know a lot of people here are in the same boat, or even worse...I just never saw this coming. If we went back just one year then life seemed great. Now it's a bloody mess.

I'm going to bed soon because I will need to be up early to tidy the house a little before she turns up.

If anyone else has an opinion over this please feel free just to shout it out.

thank you all.