Alpha and WAW - part 2

[alpha99]

Well, things just suddenly got real. I need some advice here if anyone can help.

I just went to see the kids. Whilst there W says she is coming tomorrow to clear out the house and take what she wants with her. FIL is getting a van to move stuff. She wants to change the kids' school from the next school year in September.

She mentioned divorce for the first time in a few weeks. Said it's expensive, we can't stay married forever if we're not together. Doesn't want to do it right now but is putting it up in the air so that I don't get shocked by getting papers through the door etc.

Impossible to have a conversation without her parents stepping in. Even when we go outside they come out and make excuses to interrupt. They have a lawyer in the family who has given them advice, says that she is their guardian now cos she's looking after them. they want to be amicable and are urging W to do the same but their idea of amicable is that I do whatever they want, basically!

I feel like utter crap. I have been crying on and off for the last hour. I suppose I knew this was coming but it still didn't prepare me totally for it now that it's here.

I'm getting a key cut in the morning with W for our current house, and then she's coming with me back to ours to do the sorting.

I broke one of the rules: I asked about our relationship just before I left. So many things happened at once that I just couldn't stop myself from asking her about the future. I said I didn't want a divorce. I asked if there was ever any chance of us working things out. She said she doesn't think so because she can't trust me. She says she knows that sounds funny because she has had an affair but because I made recordings of her making lies up about me she is adamant I can't be trusted. I have since deleted all records I had on her.

I mentioned about having the children for a few nights a week. Wife just shut that down straight away. I said something along the lines of 'well, who are you to decide when I can see my kids. We are both their parents. What would stop me from just taking them now?

she called her parents and twisted everything I said. Luckily they listened to me and told her to calm down. I was calm throughout and never got angry once. We got to some sort of agreement, that I would have them but not at home because it would be 'getting done up' to be sold as soon as possible.

I think W is just seeing pound signs at the moment. At one point she was incredibly angry with me. She said I was evil and had an ulterior motive and was about to stab her in the back.

I feel sick. I had thought things were cooling down. I don't think giving her more space has had much affect. If anything it would appear that the distance between us has only strengthened her resolve to do things. I think she is being pushed along quite a bit by her family.

I feel lost and hopeless right now. I just want to curl up and sleep for a long, long time.

I miss her so much. I can see in her face that the woman I used to love has gone and has been replaced by someone else. My children were happy to see me but I felt so sick having to leave them.

Any ideas of how to handle tomorrow? There's no way of stopping the juggernaut now, she's coming and that's that. she will be taking stuff. Should I help and be nice and friendly or stand back and let her get on with it without helping? I'm thinking be as friendly as possible.

What's most upsetting is the quick chat over our future. Saying how she can't trust me, doesn't think we will ever sort things out. She's the one who had the affair. She has now downgraded that to a fling (yeah, over 6 months) and although recognises she has lied in having it she seems to truly believe that I am the one who can't be trusted.

This is the hardest thing I'v ever had to face in my life...and it's going on day after day after day. Worst case scenario at the moment is W gone, seeing children a few times a week, house being sold, and at the moment not much of a bright future to look forward to. Someone shoot me now and have it done with.