Leon, I think it is very important, as the leader and protector of your family, you set a hard boundary about any violence in your home.
Boundary: "I will not have my children afraid of violence in their own home. If any violent incident occurs, I will call the authorities and do what must be done to protect my family. If the mother of my children reacts in violence toward another family member in my house, she will be expected to find other living arrangements thereafter".
By you calling the police the last time, she should know you mean business. She is being careful right now, b/c she knows she is under scrutiny.
She may try to make you feel guilty for "doing this to her" or make you feel sorry for her. Those two things are tools the WW uses most on the LBH. Stand firm, and don't back down. I believe if you ever back down, she will get much worse.
I feel complimented that you asked for my advice about testifying against your W, however, I have to tell you to follow your lawyer's advice. It could turn her around or cause her to be more angry than ever toward you. IMO, the status of the M comes second to the issue of safety in your household. At this point, your main objective is to do what is necessary to secure the protection of the kids. You would like to think she would never do anything out of anger toward one of them, but under the circumstances, how can you know?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
