Alpha and WAW - part 2

[alpha99]

You're right. I haven't got a parenting plan in place. I have been detaching and so haven't been in regular contact with W. I haven't seen or spoken to her since Saturday afternoon when I returned the kids. I only mentioned briefly plans for the week ahead and when I could take the kids to school etc.

W just called me back. Turns out her phone had gone off (run out of battery). I am going to see the kids shortly. She wants a key cut tomorrow and has the intention to come and sort out which stuff she wants to take with her to her new place. I'm not liking the thought of that, seeing our possessions go sailing out the door.

when I'm seeing the kids, I will mentioned again what I texted this morning, how I want to have the kids at home for a few days each week - i.e. parenting plan. We will know where we stand then. I am also going to mention taking the kids out for tea on Thursday. This time I am going to invite W, but in a casual way like it doesn't matter if she comes or not...but the offer is there. She was just quite polite on the phone, and has offered to have my clothes ready for when I go up, and also have the money she owes me ready for tomorrow.

I just need to handle tomorrow well. I've got to think neighbourly. It's going to be difficult when she starts to (as she undoubtedly will) try and pick out all the best of our joint possessions. I will have to clean the house a little too. I have not really been living at home, just using the computer for work and taking a shower, sleeping in bed. I have some clothes laying around from after the gym so I don't want her getting the impression I am at home all the time. She is currently responsible for some of the bills in the house and if she gets a whiff that I might be living at home (I'm not) then she will suddenly change her tune.

It's funny how things moving further away from a resolution can also be quite encouraging. By that I mean once she is living alone she is no doubt going to find it difficult. She didn't use a wardrobe once in our 9 years of living together. How the hell is see going to cope with a house and two kids all on her own? Answer: badly. Her folks will only be 2 minutes away from her new place but they have a special needs son and so although they will be there most days for some time I would imagine, they won't be there all the time to mind the kids as it appears they are doing now all living under the same roof. I think after the initial feeling of liberation and excitement of having her own place there's going to be some long lonely nights ahead for her once the kids are in bed and her parents have gone home. She can't financially afford to go partying every night, nor childminding wise. So it's a case of getting on with it for her. I will of course not have to tread so carefully if I go to see the kids and her folks aren't there all the time. By that I mean I will still continue in the same vein as I have recently but that she will (I think) be more likely to be happy to see me as some relief from the kids. That's what I mean by things getting further away but I'm quite happy with how it's going. We seem to be getting on better, in a more business like manner. Some time together as a family on Thursday would be good. If it doesn't happen it's not the end of the world, I will still take the kids out all being well. Then once she's in some time alone together (no parents there) may bit by bit give her the opportunity to see the things I'm changing about myself.

Mental note: PARENTING PLAN!