Alpha and WAW - part 2

[alpha99]

So I've been to the dentist. I am feeling good about myself today. I'm dressed smartly,got a few social things lined up, and I plan to take the children out for tea on Thursday. I also went to the gym earlier. I may go again later.

W has not replied to my earlier text. I think she'll be awkward but blame things on me. She still owes me money too, a few hundred pound...as well giving me some of my clothes back that she mistakenly took to her mother's house with her. If I can have the kids just 2-3 days a week I would be so much happier. More than anything I miss them and I know they're not getting looked after as well as they would be with me. Things seem to be far more laid back at her mother's place regarding the children. They were never allowed to go up and down our stairs alone for example, simply due to our steep stairs and their sometimes unsteady nature. Now I call briefly and see D5 jumping up and down on stairs unsupervised. It would seem only a matter of time til there's an accident. Of course that's the last thing I want but if I intervene I know what's going to happen...the angry bear will get released from its cage.

Having a better day today. Still cried a bit this morning, but when I have plans, people to see, places to go, things pass by quicker. I will see my children tomorrow. It's one of the longest periods of.time since their births that I haven't seen them. It is so hard to think they may do new things, win something at school, have s tooth fall out, pick up a new hobby, and that I won't be there all the time to see it.

Finally, I'm having a few bouts right now of missing W and kids.