I struggle with a different set of values, an internal/external locus of control points of view. To him, everyone is a victim or product of their circumstances. To me, we all have choices.we are at odds all the time coming out of these philosophies.
Understanding and supporting our spouses is hard when we see the world so differently. When my H was depressed he had the exact same mentality as your H. It was infuriating, but ultimately I wasn't going to change that. He had to see things on his own. All I could do was validate how he felt. Not agree with it, just show I understood he had a different POV.
Have you considered setting a time limit for yourself? Maybe 6 months where you don't consider leaving . Then evaluate how you feel like at the end of the time period?
Every situation is different. I felt like piecing was/is harder than the crisis period. The first few months after H and I recommitted to our M were shaky. It did get better though. Patience and time will help.
Me: 30 H: 35 M: 5 years S2 Signs of MLC started Feb 2014 BD - PA July 2014 Piecing/reconciling late July 2014
