This is great information to hear because you are describing a pattern that I was falling into. Oral on her until she gets the big O. However, I usually mix it up oral-insertion-oral-insertion, then I usually find out when shes about to O and then I get back in and will assist her manually or she will assist herself.
The problem with the other night was that she didn't even give me a chance to go down on her and "share" the moment. She aggressively threw me on my back, gave me some deep kisses but she wasn't "in the moment" because her eyes were elsewhere. Got me going a little then tried to initiate the act but she (no surprise) wasn't ready. I told her that if she really was simply trying to add variety or a different style, that she needs to let me know before we start.
This gets back to "sex education". Communicating about what each other wants and how they want it. I really want variety where occasionally she simply Fs me, vice versa, and then maybe throw a different psychology into it...like "sweet and tender talk" vs. "raunchy, naughty". We have a "standard" mode which is good and nice with a mix of traditional, with oral, various positions etc. But if my mind was ready for "standard" or "sweet", I would have a hard time adjusting midstream....I definitely wish we could plan it a little more in advance. The Laura Corn books are based soley on the principle that variety+anticipation=great sex. I'm trying to figure out a way to get W on board with this.
W and I talked about helping each other stay motivated on other goals like dieting etc. and we came up with the idea of keeping a hat that says "coach" on it to wear when we are pushing so that it's clear that we are playing a role. Ok, this is not related to anything to do with our S life, but I do think there could be a colored candle system or something to set expectations in the bedroom. Just some ideas.
