I've been failing horribly since bomb day one month ago. What are your suggestions when LBH is late to the party like me? Ease into the appropriate course of action, or go all in 100% the moment you read this great post?
Like I said on your thread, you can't do anything expecting some desired response from her. You have been looking for a magic bullet to shoot this down. Not going to happen that way, sorry.
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Ease into the appropriate course of action, or go all in 100% the moment you read this great post?
That is a good question. Personally, I feel too many men wait too long before they take appropriate action. They get so worn out mentally & emotionally that they can't cope, before finally letting her go. When they let go, she knows if it is real. Women just know. I have also seen those newcomer H's who are too quick, and did not take time to learn what they should be learning, and I recall one guy who took some bad advice (and I won't tell you what about or it will get this thread off topic) and anyway he jumped and and filed for a divorce before ever doing anythings else. Then he came back crying about what to do! Well, it is a lot harder after you've sc@wed up everything once already. See what I mean? He just picked up a tidbit of something he thought would shock her out of her EA, but he didn't think it through and just used it as a gimmic. People come on the board, go strictly against the advice.....then ask us what to do next. Think before you act.
Just as in setting boundaries, you need to understand what it means, what they are, how it works, and how to enforce it. Same thing applies with what I have said in this thread. You have to be prepared and READY to let her go. Otherwise, you are simply faking it, and she just might call your bluff.
I don't know if you are there yet, Bing. Have you finished reading the book? Considering your bust with the boundary setting, my advice is to keep studying and getting this information under your belt, first. It is too much to learn in just a very few days. However, you could be applying the "37 rules" right now.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
