Thank you Sandi for that post. I bookmarked it and named the bookmark "Read this every day."
Regarding boundaries.. of course that's not a boundary, is it. If it were a boundary then it would be something like "I don't want a relationship in which W disappears overnight, and if she does then I will X." But my statement to her is a request, there is no consequence, so it is therefore not a boundary. I think I understand the difference.
So meetup.com has interesting activities for me to head to on each night of the week next week. So as long as I persist in my job hunt during the day (making that my "day job") then I can give myself the nights off and not be home at all, regardless of whether she's at home or with him. Perhaps she will take my absence as her cue to go be with him. Or not. I'll be busy.
W actually did get in last night at 3am-- 13 hours with OM, although not entirely overnight. This morning, before I left for a meeting, she was all sweetness and light.. let me hug you good morning, let me tell you about something funny online, let me make you a cup of coffee, let me pat you friendly-like on the head, here's a stone I picked up on the beach for you while I was with OM. I accepted these tokens with bemusement, and did not return them; however, for a moment I was befuddled into actually trying to tell her something about my job hunt yesterday. Of course the moment I started saying something about myself POP she zoned right out.
