S, it's ok. You have held it together in an amazing way, steeped in positivity for a while. Ever hear of ppl getting sick when their life finally calms down and they can afford to?
I think you've been repressing some of this for a while , and it's all normal. It's ok. Just let it move through you, know you'll be steadier once it does.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on