I thought everything was okay....(Part 4)

[MCS]

V,

Thanks. I had a big backslide. You're going to be disappointed in me.....Seeing her in pain is just too much.

School was cancelled, so we needed to do an exchange of the kids other than normal that one drops off at school the other picks up. I told W that I can drop off at her place or she can pick up at mine. W chooses parking lot at a store. I said I don't think that's a good idea for the kids, I ad emailed her that last week and she never responded, I said she could call and we could talk. W tells me that I'm preventing her from seeing the kids. I fire back about the rhetoric and lies she tells people about me, just like this. Fill in about hearing OM say that I was withholding kids and also tell her the story of her friend that helped her move and he called me back into the house and told me he was mis-informed about what the sitch actually was and gave me his number to call and talk if I needed to. W responded "Why would he say something like that to you?" I said "I have no idea, I don't even know who he was"

Getting back to the exchange, I said that is my boundary for the kids, they deserve more than a casual trade in a parking lot. Also told her I've decided that I'm going to look only at what I feel is best for the kiddos.

After 4-5x of her telling me I need to come up with something that works for her followed by her hanging up on me, W finally says she'll come get them. Comes in and S5 starts crying because he doesn't want to go and D4 wants to show her a set-up of her toys that she's been telling me all week she wants mom to see. W keeps telling her no. D4 asks me to go take a picture so I can come back and show mom. I look at W and say 'Please, just be their Mom'

She snarls, and I ask her if she's been seeing a counselor. She says "Counselor says I'm just fine' I ask her if she's told counselor the truth. She looks up and stares at me. On the way out, I said: "W, please get healthy for the kids" I then ask "Why are you pushing away everyone that cares for you?" She says "because everyone treats me like $h!t"

She leaves and she then sends text message later that I can't call the shots and withhold the kids from her. Says no more talk, just text. I say that this has been my fear that we have disagreements and she shuts down communication.

So to further the backslide, W showed me this week how much pain and anger she's holding trying to continue to support her lie (that OM is not involved in any of her decisions, its all MCS) I saw the struggle, I backslid more today and called SIL (haven't talked to her since she came over to go through W things.) As you know SIL is level headed and like everyone else totally confused about what actually happened to our M. As soon as she picked up the phone, SIL says W is a mess, they tried to go on vacation with W's 'new' friends and W treated SIL like dirt. SIL said W is always on the phone, even when driving she's constantly distracted from the kids and life in general. SIL says that she's been attached to the phone since last summer and she doesn't know why. I asked "Has W told you about it?" SIL says no, she doesn't know. Obviously, W has not even told SIL what's going on. I didn't reveal anything. SIL said back in the summer (week of OM rendezvous) or fall (Wedding w/ kids) that W was at her Dad's and S5 was acting up. Grandfather disciplined him and W stormed out of the house. SIL said it seems like W doesn't have control of the kids. I told SIL to keep being there for W. It seems like W is hearing same thing from all around her hopefully she will work out of whatever she's in right now. Also said that I haven't given up.

So earlier this week, W made some heinous accusations about me that are all lies; to continue to cover the truth of what has happened. They are false, I really have no need to defend. However, she sent me a text today saying it again. Its going to force me to shut down communications with her. Its unfortunate, kids are going to suffer.