My view is that from what I see of Z, she quickly reacts to consider D. There is no space at all, that looks like emotional flooding to me. I recognise it because that caused my screaming banshee to emerge.
All is fine then bang, flooding. I would like to know Z has this more under control before she starts to piece. Z needs more work on Z.
Thanks for posting this link. This author discusses her experiences with emotional flooding from her marriage and some of it is backed up by Gottman's research on marriages. This leads me to think that it is pretty universal in relationships. In my mind, some people have better tools to fight fair with their spouses and others struggle with it due to their FOO (modeling from their own parents, grandparents).
