Old dog seeks new trick 10

[Vanilla]

OD

Please decide what is a boundary for you, how can you decide what is acceptable if you excuse W? If you hold yourself accountable?

How far does W have to go before OD decides enough?

I know OD this hurts that means this is too much for OD. OD, you have no reason to be shamed here, this is about W and her addiction to OP. All APs are lesser than the LBS, why? Only a lesser person would have an affair with a married person, boss or no boss, he behaves as a lesser spiritual mortal than OD.

No contest, OD find yourself very quickly. You are the more stable parent, the non addict, the grounded sane one dealing with very tough unfair stuff. Your children need you to be strong, you need OD to be strong.

Truly, this is awful, I would that this was different for the wonderful man called OD. But it is reality, W and her cheap OM are reality, lay down your boundaries. Decide what they are, write down a list of things that OD finds unacceptable, then OD decide on the consequences if they are repeated.

Please have your strength, clearly by making sure that W returns after OD leaves W is demonstrating that consequences should be avoided. W is married to OD, not divorced, this is an A.

OD has work to do to decide
1. What is unacceptable behaviour ( when OD is angry or upset this is an indicator)

2. What the related boundary is

3. What the consequences are if the behaviour continues

4. That the consequences can be enforced

5. That they are enforced

For example, it is no use trying to insist the A ceases at this stage but you could set a boundary that the evidence of it is not at your home in a brown envelope. You can insist the family car is unused, joint finances kept for family use. These are under OD control. OD has control over OD.

We are here OD. I understand too well as I had to face this and set boundaries. We can share with you our experiences and guidance and up to you how you use it.

OD whilst you are home, you have the marital bed, kick her ass elsewhere. V made the mistake of being weak on this and slept on a day bed. Go get good and annoyed enough to be strong with tough love.

((((((((((((OD))))))))))))

V