Yeah, that would've been one of those in-person convos where I would have recommended you just stop, stare at her incredulously, shake your head and say "Wow." -- and nothing more.
THIS^^^...
There are times in many long relationships, in which the best response is a non response.
It shows that the person (you), is SO SURPRISED and UNPREPARED for the wacky & unfair comment the spouse just made
that the safest & smartest thing for you to say, the most careful thing, is to say NOTHING.
Because that says it all.
Besides, anytime You do the spewing, it means you stooped. And it is beneath you (AND worse, it would only serve to fuel her fire & justify her negative feelings.)
I also agree with what Train said, it IS a bit weird that she asked you for the space. I'd choose to see it as an opportunity to show the new improved 'moving forward' version of you....
(it's MEGA GAL time, btw.)
AS LONG AS YOU HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS.
Good luck!
PS
IF IF IF you can pull it off, and if she says another remarkably weird thing about you and OWs,
go with it-but in a funny way. "You mean I can't have ANY of my girlfriends over ALL week!??"
Or
"Whoah, I better call to cancel the band and caterer b/c that was my night for the BIG PARTY - with all the LADIES I know & Love, &all the ones I have been partying with since I DEPLOYED (b/c the deployment was one fun night after another! Oh the laughs we had!")
OR
"Yeah sure w, I've been busy DATING lots of OWs...I guess that's what you need to tell yourself w..."
But you must be upbeat and happy when you say it, like it really does amuse you. Show NO anger. And in time, it just might be funny to you.
Never give in to the anger & temptation to say something snarky & spiteful like "Call OM" or "You made your bed, now lie in it" b/c that is simply NOT How you live your life. You have let her go and you are now living your life as fully as you can. You have no energy for pettiness.
So no, You will NOT succumb to bitterness toward her, you will NOT behave in a smarmy manner toward the woman you once vowed to love forever.
You just won't. You are above that. Your life is better than that.
Best wishes Rys, truly
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
