Quote: "Hold the Remote" was a metaphor for the fact that she's controlling this entire process.
LOL! Actually, ROTFLMAO! Misunderstandings can be so FUNNY sometimes! Sorry!
Quote: ...I get interests that I "burn" on for a period of time, then drop. This type of behavior has worked great at work and in sports...
Whoa, D36, you're scaring me. That describes me EXACTLY. I have ALWAYS described myself as a mess of conflicting interests - my interests are ridiculously wide-ranging. Yes, I, too have a history of latching onto the "flavor of the month", spending ALL my time avidly pursuing it for a month or two, or six, only to latch onto another interest and drop the first cold, pursuing the next one, until another one comes along...
My interests include (but are not limited to) Music (playing, listening to, writing), Art, Business, Molecular Physics, Recombinant DNA, Brewing/Winemaking, Woodworking, Instrument making, Fiction, Historical Non-Fiction, Biographies, Literature, Writing, Aeromodeling, Cosmology, Plasma Physics, Electronics...
About the only ones I've done for any length of time are Music (since childhood) and aeromodeling (past 3 years), and even within them, I'll go for long periods of time without doing either of them. From my perspective, it's just that I have so many interests, and I get so intense about each one, that I really only have time for one or two at a time, and I don't really DROP most of them, but I could see how it'd look that way from the outside.
Quote: Unfortunately, I've let her wedge her daily activities into our time together to the point that I get about 5 minutes of a tired, burned out carcass of a woman at the very end of the day.
Note the bolded words. I, too, have spent some time recently examining my own contributions to my sitch, like how I've remained quiet for such long periods of time, which may allow her to feel like things are fine, or it might cause her to wonder if I'm p'ed off at her. From my point of view, I was being pro-active in recognizing that the "planets weren't lined up correctly" to allow for ML, so I "thoughtfully" didn't bring it up, but I've been wrong about a LOT of other things, so maybe I just largely did this to myself. I don't really believe that's strictly the case, but I can't help thinking that if I'd been more persistent more of the time, things might have been sorted out long ago (one way or another).
Quote: ...she said she hates to do in the morning because she feels "unclean" and that her shower and cleanliness then makes her want to start the day.
Same sitch here. In our last round of C, she said how she often wakes up during the night, and since she's usually too tired for LM at bedtime, C asked her if she'd consider waking me up (and I said I would be RIGHT ON BOARD with that!!), but she gave the same answer - too dirty, bad breath, etc. No willingness to even consider simple remedies to those probs...
SD - I hear you. My first "list" will be real simple - get a C and start having conversations with me about what next. At this point, "just do it" is not an option, as she's totally non-responsive physically - I think we'll have to deal with that first. She said the other day that she even tried masturbating in the shower, and got a headache from the effort. I think she has MANY problems here... lack of sex for so many years has her out of practice to the point she doesn't even know her own body anymore, or how it responds, plus her mental attitude about sex may have progressed to the point where she can't even allow herself to feel sexy at all. Plus now the panic of performance anxiety - I can just imagine how I'd feel if I found I couldn't get it up no matter what!
