Old dog seeks new trick 10

[Sotto]

Hi OD - well I think not having cards from him on the bedside table would be one boundary! That she has left those there has caused you a great deal of pain, and presumably you would not want that to happen again. What if S12 or S15 had seen those? Not appropriate IMHO.

The same would apply to any gifts or tokens from him. You may feel it is unreasonable for her to be 'openly' conducting a R with someone else and for this to be evident to your sons...

What about funds, and using those funds for things related to OM? Do you only have a joint account or does your W have her own funds?

Your W may feel that 'it is over' and you should 'get over it' - but the fact remains that you are still M and are still sharing a marital bed at this point, so your W's perspective on things may be optimistic to say the least.

There may be other boundaries you may want to consider. Do feel able to continue sleeping in the marital bed, or for your W to continue to sleep in the bed with you given what you know?

Only you know what you can tolerate OD - but I think you should put the emphasis firmly on protecting you and your boys from her current waywardness.

Seeing those cards must have been awful OD, and I really do feel for you. Try and remember that it is all just sexualised (and frankly rather banal). Your W is very unlikely to have found her soulmate, and it is likely that things will sour at some point. How soon we don't know. It is also likely that at some point in the future, your W may come to feel that she has made the biggest mistake of her life in what she is doing now. None of that is here yet - but in all likelihood that is what is on the way OD.

((OD))