Ganb8te 5 - Escaping the abyss

[Vanilla]

Thanks V, for the link on emotional flooding. Like Zel I would have once said that H was the one who got emotionally flooded and shut down. But now I am seeing it a different way. I think V's Screaming Banshee would get along with my Griselda Grim. That was me being emotionally flooded - whereas H shutting down was him going into his cave, me shutting down was Griselda Grim unleashing her glory on the world. I hated her but didn't feel like I could control her and felt powerless when she showed up. Schnarch talks about self-soothing as a relationship skill and I believe it to be true. Well, I'm locking Griselda Grim beneath the floorboards and learning to bring the focus back to my breath.

You are welcome Gan.

However I would like to invite Griselda out to play with Screaming Banshee. There are a great deal of learning experiences in these characters. My IC taught me that these are referred to as shadows and they are protective of us, it is sensible to hold them close and even to project them to allow them to give us strength and purpose. Accepting screening banshee as part of me has taken a great deal of work Gan, but she is now a close and wonderful friend. Here is the CBT exercise I was given, as I have no link for it. My IC referred to it as inner authority and Genie Labord in Influencing with Integrity as a part that could be invited to a tea party.

Here is how another practiser described it in NLP in a blog. It is about half way down the page

dealing with the troublesome parts

This is how I was shown with only one part of me.

When flooding occurs and the shadow starts to take over. See the shadow to one side in front of you, focus on the shadow not on H. Create a bond (for me light projection from my higher power) then channel shadows energy back. The negativity shifts into the shadow, but the shadow gives the power of self expression. Then enforce the boundary that gives rise to the shadow and also use the Shadow as part of your confidence in other situations. Takes a little practice and it works. Your shadow has a strong presence, you can imagine her. Screaming Banshee was a little like a Dementer in Harry Potter, but now more like a wilful ghost, grey rather than black but with a mischievous smile!

My next shadow is Plain Vanilla who is the frumpy unattractive bag lady in V. Together we are tackling this, Vanilla and I in the gym, dancing and in front of my mirror. There are more shadows and elves I can draw on if I look at this way.

I suppose Gan, reframe this and see your shadow as something to bring to the light and freedom and to assist you to grow.

I know this is a little far scope but I think you may understand.

Are you still in London?

V