Old dog seeks new trick 10

[Vanilla]

OD

At the moment, I would like to see you have space to reflect and detatch.

More than this, please understand that whilst OD has been imperfect that is his right as a human and as a human being to be and to grow. W is disrespectful and wayward. Full stop. This is W choice, whilst W is rationalising her behaviour and excusing it to W, she is in a full on A.

The really disrespectful part of this to V is the flaunting of it. My H was the same and this was huge for me. There is H behaviour which is down to H and there is out and out hurtful manipulation, lies and spew. H is spewing to cover up his Chasing of POW. I will be treated with respect whilst I deal with in house S, there are boundaries.

H had sex with one OW in his car, condom wrappers etc, tried to say he lent his car to a friend.
"H, I am intelligent and we both know that is untrue. As long as you are having sex in your car then I will travel in my own car (a Daewoo Matiz) you have a choice to go to your niece's wedding, go separately or go in my car" . We went separately.

H has sold his car and acquired a different car now.

H was R inging the fish wife and he lied taking her to my Brighton flat. They had an argument in the middle of the night and disturbed my 103 year old neighbour. I made H apologise, he told the neighbour that it was the TV accidentally turned on loudly. H said to V that he went because he needed alone time. Nah.

' H, I know you took the fishwife to the Brighton Flat, you were seen and heard by neighbours. This is unacceptable to V as this will be her retirement flat and she will live in it. In future you will not stay in the flat other than by prior arrangement and I reserve the right to visit whilst you are there'

Then he tried the same trick with a 'friend' to the flat abroad who is now CF to V.
Boundary enforced.

I will be enforcing boundaries and I will keep on doing so. It is my right to do so.

Gradually I am respected.

OD, this is your right too. You know where your boundaries are, when you enforce these then you will cease to be angry and hurt. Anger and hurt are signs that your boundary (castle) has been breached. Get those soldiers in action to protect your heart, the villagers to put out your fires. W is wayward like my H, nothing you can do, W is emotionally abusive with flaunting A in front of you? Plenty you can do to enforce your boundaries. It will get easier OD, I promise this if you start to enforce your boundaries. Like a muscle being exercised it will get stronger and have more endurance. V was less than a noodle, a puddle of grey gloop instead, but now she is enforcing boundaries and a puddle no more. Trust in the process OD, feels strange but it works. It is a 180.

Trust, move through your pain and act
V