Old dog seeks new trick 10

[Maybell]

NOT SO Old Dog... Sorry I'm late to the party but I'm sorry yesterday was your day. Not a good time whatsoever.

Also, what Raliced said about not taking all the blame for this. And I'm glad you took Betsey's point from my thread. Sometimes we fall down but when the other person Shows Up for us we do a better job of Showing Up too. I don't know what your W's failings are but how she's handling this part of your marriage shows, in my view, a tremendous lack of integrity. It shows entitlement, lack of empathy, and a tremendous lack of respect for you.

I'll write more about this on my thread later, but this was my week for noticing how people have been pushing my boundaries and sometimes violating them. Your WAW is VIOLATING YOUR BOUNDARIES. You don't have to take immediate action but you should really think about how you want to handle that.

Have you looked into the boundary concept very much this far in your sitch?

As far as this:

When I see a message or email from her, it causes my heart to skip a beat. I wish it didn't.

I had that reaction for a really long time. I figured out eventually it signified hope. Every time I saw his name pop up on my screen or in my inbox I hoped that THIS was the message that would say "I'm sorry. I'm an a$$. What was I thinking? Let's rebuild." And it never did. It always said something totally self-serving or demanding or hurtful or indifferent. Eventually, over time I gave up hope and then I started seeing his behavior for what it really was. My heart no longer responds to the sight of his name. Sometimes I feel a little sick seeing it, which is a different kind of depressing.

You will get there but you have to go through it first, I'm sorry to say.

I hope today has been better for you.