Jbird#2 Separated Living Together Need Advice

[25yearsmlc]

Jbird

I SURE am looking forward to hearing Nothing about your stbx and lots more about you & your family...

(that's a "reminder" for you to STAY FOCUSSED on you, and only you b/c all this other stuff is

still YOU trying to control a truly UNControllable woman...

which is such a waste of your energy & short life.

Karma,

She sees her psychiatrist once every three months, but when she went in January she wouldn't let me go with.


I'd be shocked if she had let you. If I were seeing a psych, I'd never want my h there. Yikes...that would hinder my progress b/c I'd be inhibited and would Not share things with my doctor

plus I'd worry about my h judging me,

or trying to manipulate me.

Let's see if there are any assumptions or mind reading in the post BELOW...


Therefore, he doesn't know her recent behavior. I'm sure she left out her opiate relapse, sexting the prisoner in Kansas, sending the vibrator video and the plans to hook up with the domestic violence convict in MT. Also avoided telling him about her $15k spending spree on jewelry, Victoria Secret and various other items.

ALL of this ^^ is total speculation on YOUR part....AND it does you NO GOOD even if you are correct! What changes for you? Nothing! This is the same thing you did last month

asking us if you should tell your stbxw about the OM who may be in her life. IT's YOU pretending to have a need to interfere or "save/fix/rescue HER

when your own life needs plenty of attention itself....

What do you think you are avoiding in your own life, by constantly veering back to hers?


My psychologist said it is worth a shot to email him about this behavior, but fears that she is to far into this episode to make a difference.

Do you think I should email him?

No I don't. You are doing all this b/c you are trying to CHANGE HER PATH and it won't change a thing. Let me repeat that for emphasis.

You emailing her doctor will NOT change her path.

Even if everything you believe is happening, IS truly happening, she will NOT listen to you and she'll just change doctors if she wants to.

But it's NOT relevant. It's NOT YOUR PROBLEM.


I spent the day with my mom, two of my brothers and SND20. Nothing exciting today but it is nice to be with my ND family.

Having a few beers last night with my brother, old classmate and another friend was fun, but today I can tell that my antidepressant was not working properly.

Tomorrow we have some errands to run around town. I need to decide if I am going to waive my right to be served and waive my right to testimony. Any advice would be appreciated.

Thought this was asked & answered before,but maybe I confused you with someone else.

Okay so, Waiving service just means you don't need to be "officially" served divorce papers notifying you that your spouse is filing for divorce. In other words, you are admitting that you know it's going on and that you do not need the "official" serving of divorce papers by someone.

IF you do not waive it, then in effect you are insisting on being served divorce papers.

Usually that means some guy comes to your work place, or your home, (often there are other people at work or your home, & they will see you get the papers), and

this is done to give "proof of service", which means they can prove they delivered the Div documents to you. Most people do waive right of service.

(If someone did not get served AND did Not waive the right to be served, that could mean the h or w filed divorce papers without ever telling their spouse, which does happen now and then.) But most couples know a divorce is coming.



Waiving testimony is NOT the same. That is something you need to address with a lawyer licensed in your state. I THNK that it means you are NOT Contesting any of her claims in the divorce filing. That it's totally uncontested.

I don't know what your assets are. But you have some. AND you have a SN Daughter, so I'd be very leery of agreeing to what your w writes in the filing, which is what I think she's asking of you.

Call a Div lawyer in your home state, before you agree to that or anything else.

Make sense?




I have not had any contact today. She called but I did not answer or return her call. D25 called today about her mother, she told D25 she is going to stay in TX for a year and wants her to move in with her. D25 told her no. Two days ago she was moving to MT to be near her "life coach".

Disengage from your wife's activities and plans and comments...

Consider for a MINUTE, all the worrying and anxiety you have had for things that won't even happen

and or that you have no control over.

Remember all the stress about "What to tell stbxw about OM? He has a criminal record and I'm SURE she doesn't know!!? What do I DO???"

And maybe now she's not even going there...

and you were SO SAD when you said "W wants to take SN D to Montana!!"

Oops, she may not move there at all....so it's another NON problem you were so upset about.

Jbird, you must learn from this^^^^^..

When you operate in fear, you are NOT operating in faith.


And that ^^^ is no way to live.

YOU MUST CHOOSE A NEW PATH FOR YOURSELF. Today.

Then you really will start to turn a corner into better things for your life.

((( )))