Thanks, as always, for taking your valuable time to keep up with my sitch and respond. Yes, I am invested in changing myself to change my life and improve my marriage/relationship. I did worry I might be playing into her hand, but I also felt it was the right thing to do. Additionally, I felt it would show empathy on my part--one of the big changes I am trying to make.
Your example about your Dad does sound similiar to me -- especiallly in recent years after my wife was in her 5th car accident in less than 3 years. Now I see how that could smother a person. As I think more and more about it, it would drive me crazy.
Did I wake her up to start arguments? Yes, it happened a few times, the last time was the Thursday evening before she walked away. I am not saying it was right on my part. One time was one time too many. It's another change I'm working on. One fact (not an excuse) is that I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Add a little alcohol before bed and it can lead to ugly results. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since the day my wife left and I take my medicine daily as prescribed. I feel so much better!
Did I resppnd to her text? I thought about it for quite a while and I finally did. Here it is:
I agree with you that we could have a good marriage. I have being doing a lot of soul-searching. It's not that I never trusted you, but I showed it so poorly. I appreciate the fact that you took the time to explain your feelings. It helps me focus in on the important issues. The way you explained your loss of independence was so vivid I felt like I was seeing it through your eyes for the first time. How hard that must've been for you. I am ashamed that I treated you that way and I am very sorry.
I sent that Wednesday and she hasn't replied. I have not contacted her since.
That's all for now. Thanks again mahhhty!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
