Hi Gerda, it is nice to see you back. Thanks for the reminder to view her actions (of not signing the divorce papers) and to stop trying to read into W's motivations. Compassion? One step at a time on this.
And Kat, thank you for asking about d18. She went back to Boston. The dutiful worker, her boss at Starbucks said she needed her, and so she went back. Just in time for more snow!
Quick journal - So I texted W this afternoon to ask if I could come over to pick up s13. She texted back "Call me please", which sounded urgent so I called her right back. She asked if it was alright to let s13 go to a family dinner tonight with other family members in town for the funeral. I agreed.
Then W tells me she hasn't really cried yet at the loss of her mother, though when she hugged my mom at the Visitation last night, it was her first real cry.
Then she tells me that since she did all of the work setting up the visitation, after it was done she left with one of her women friends to a bar. They were joined by one of her male friends (I would normally stop her at this point, but given the circumstances I gave her some slack). And after a few drinks, W said she was not ready to go home, and male friend invited her to local casino which is open all night. She said this was great, and just what she needed.
I kept her talking by asking what was her favorite photo that she discovered going thru all of the old photos. She bubbled with enthusiasm describing some of the favorites. Then she told me she bought some lockets and fitted photos of each of her 7 sisters individually with their mom, that she will give out tomorrow at the funeral. I told her what a great idea.
Then W told me that I would have both s13 and d17 after tomorrow's funeral. She explained that she hasn't really had any alone time to deal with her mother's death. More time with my kids? I'm all for it. Though from my past with my W, I doubt she will be alone. She gets her energy from being around people. But it's her decision to spend her time as she will.
Then perhaps a mistake? I brought up tomorrow's funeral, and that I would like to sit by our children, and by her. I said I was trying to be sensitive to her needs by asking this. She was caught off guard, she stammered that she was going to sit by her closest sister. I left it at that. Let's see what tomorrow holds.
