I'm always impressed with your patience and dedication towards your goal of R your marriage. Your intentions seem very transparent in all your posts, so I'm sure your W has a good idea of what you want.
I recall a long time ago, you went very dark and she ended the affair at that time. I can't help but wonder if your W is secure in the option that you will be there should she eventually make up her mind to return to the M. In the meantime it seems she can test boundaries as much as she likes, with no real fear of losing you.
I may be off base, there's a big chance for that as it happens all the time
