TUES PM: Just made possibly the dumbest blunder of all times....good for a laugh.
Tonight I made an unconventional attempt to offer my W some 1 on 1 time in the bedroom instead of the usual routine because she had a very stressful day. My thinking was that she would associate LM with being a bigger stress reliever than TV...which truly would be the case if she and I got that far. Anyway, she clearly established her "boundary" (god I hate psychobabble) by letting me know that she really needs a bit of time where nobody is touching her or "in her face". But she let me down easily by saying..."I love that idea, it's a very sweet idea...but just not right now". Ok, this is fine. This was NOT the blunder.
So as you know, I've been stewing over this list thing again and feeling completely confused about it. So I actually went to bed early and about 30 minutes later, she came up and asked me if I was angry at her or just feeling like sleeping. I said that I was not mad AT HER, but rather confused and trying to sort some things out, and probably more mad at myself for the way I've been acting. So we talked a bit and I explained again how I was feeling and touched some of the subjects in the previous posts. I mentioned the fact that we both make time in our schedules for the stupid volunteer initiatives and that we should at least be able to schedule time together. Anyway, it was cordial and I felt really relieved to have tallked to her...especially because I GAVE HER THE LIST (verbally). Here's what I said....
1. I would like to ML once on each weekend and once during the week. This number will probably decrease a little as we move out of this "building phase" to a "maintenance phase" where once a week would suffice.
2. At least once a week, I would like her to initiate the encounter at least a few hours in advance of with a note/clue. I then asked her how I initiate...she said with a "multiple choice card" .
Was this the blunder?......no.
So she was actually pretty cool with it because I proposed the Sex Diet and Tantra methods of daily sex as examples of "total immersion" approaches. She said she preferred to keep it organic but she still needs to know my expectations. Done.
So...she repeated her boundaries to me again and claims that this should be a universal rule for all types of relationships - couple, parental, business, etc. 1. Pick up after yourself 2. Don't be irritating (which I was at that moment).
So what was the big blunder?
She had come upstairs to ML...exactly half a week from the last time. Sh!t!!!!
I'm glad I talked, especially to clear the list issue up...it was killing me. But damn! I would have shed all the anger and tension if I would have shut my damn mouth an let her keep scratching my back.
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