Thanks rpp. My conversation with WAH last night clarified a bunch of things for me. He is not really able, and therefore not willing, to do the work on himself that he would need to do to have a happy marriage. He us holding on to a lot of anger, and projects his frustration about being Divorced onto me ("I don't make things easy for him". I guess I forgot that part of our agreement!)
He says that when he announces another schedule change, my reply of "fine" is intended to make him feel guilty. He disagrees that "no one can *make* you feel anything.
He is still not willing to really acknowledge his role in the M. (He did agree that he didn't tell me I was beautiful often enough (ever), but can't connect that to relating to how we ended up here.
I think he doesn't want to be divorced, in general, but doesn't want to be married to me, either.
He also mentioned that his mom tells him that he takes on too much parenting responsibility. Yes. This from a woman whose own husband left her with two young boys, and whom she described to me as an "a-hole" a few years ago. There is definitely a little boy on a pedestal syndrome at play.
Basically I realized that he just doesn't possess much self-awareness, and doesn't really want to have any. He is not really capable of facing any of his flaws or mistakes.
maybe he will find someone who is perfect on her own (not much work involved), who will think he is perfect too. That exists, right?!?
