That is why it is recommended not to discuss things other than (as here: strangely open but anonymously) and with IC, L and a couple of close support friends. Firstly they will support you and secondly it makes the way back harder.
But I confess I have broken this rule when H has done so and told his side to mutual friends, painting V as the wicked old ugly fat witch with the big warts and bad cackle.
If I have to discuss, then I stick to the undisputed facts and my feelings about it. Recently when H disputed to a friend that he said some particular thing, I played the MP3 of it and I told H I was doing so. I sent him a copy of the MP3. H told an advisor that last year I had left him for 7 weeks, another lie, I sent a copy of my diary and timesheet with locations showing this was not true. We need Intel, and to keep evidence to hold to account. Otherwise it is hear say, on the he said she said spectrum. I am glad Ikept the texts and MP3 recordings.
This is hard so please Lisa, be careful with your heart.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Sounds like you are doing well. Some bumps but I think those are to be expected.
Originally Posted By: Barry
I read NMMNG recently (credit to Mozza for recommending it), and it's an eye opener. I've never looked at my life like that before and it really helped me to make some changes to my attitude. I recommend it to all.
What is the title of that book?
Me:43, WW:45 2 Kids: 21,22 Married: 23 Years Bomb: 01/2015 Separate Bedrooms: 02/2015 She left: 03/2015
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Life has had its ups and downs but I am doing ok. I have seen the ex a few times and we've had our fun moments as well as a big nasty fight. Oops.
My last update I mentioned that we are connected financially over a business investment we have together. Earlier in the year I was thinking of getting out of the investment so that I don't have to communicate with him at all. But in February I reconsidered, had a good chat with him, and we decided to continue on together. Since then however, I have been quite disappointed with his behavior. He claimed to be very eager to work together with me, but then has dropped the ball so many times. I think those of you with kids with your ex will relate to my disappointment. Without going on and on with the details, I am again starting to reconsider my connection to him through this business investment as it is causing me stress and annoyance.
On the other hand, we do communicate mostly in a friendly way now, so that is positive.
The burning question after 10 months: will we reunite? I don't think so. I'm not really 100% interested and I believe that I wanted to reunite more for my bruised ego than because he is my soul mate. I realized the other day that if he said "I made a huge mistake" it would make me very happy but I probably wouldn't want to jump into his arms.
I'm feeling quite single and liking it in most ways. I like having my house and bed to myself, doing what I want, when I want, being free... Sometimes I do wonder if I will be single forever and then I think I might be ok with that. I don't feel lonely but I do feel a bit "dried up". In the past few months I have been approached by a lot of guys wanting to date me and I have felt very resistant, almost repulsed. I just had no interest in dating them. I didn't feel ready to date and I still am not sure.
I recently met a new man that got me very excited. Probably nothing will happen with this guy, but the way I feel about him intrigues me. I look at him and wow! I find him so interesting and sexy. Then I realized that I haven't felt this way about a man since before I met the exH. As in, I never felt this way about the exH. I don't think that's because the H and I were a bad match, our relationship was just very smooth and easy. There was no tension or excitement. It's nice to feel intrigued and excited! I'm not sure I'm ready to date, for now we can be friends and see how things go.
One weird thing I will say is that DB has taught me some things about dating! Playing it cool and being mysterious has never been my strong point, but it works well with DB and with dating it seems! ha!
I'll check back in more regularly. I needed a little break from this forum I think, just to get my head in reality and stop waiting to get back with my ex.
Big hugs to all! LisaB
Me: 34 H: 30 M: 4 years BD: 6/15/14 He moved out 6/30/14 OW1: EA then PA after BD Now he's dating multiple OWs I'm over it and moving on.
