Wife left me three weeks ago!

[alpha99]

No contact from W since this morning, although she has probably been asleep a lot of the day after working last night. So anyway, thinking of myself for a moment, I have been busy today. I went to the local town centre to meet my sisters, we had a meal out, then I went and did some shopping. This got me thinking about some of the 180s that I have been trying to do this last week or two. I thought it might be a good idea to write them down here so I can review them from time to time. I have written some down in my journal but my things are between houses (mine and my parents') so it may be easier to view things here. Anyway, here goes:

* New aftershave (never wore it before, now I do every day. W has definitely noticed this as I've seen her take note of the smell).

* Use bodywash every day. (again, I rarely used this before...same thing, it has been noticed)

* Shaved more regularly (Would generally has some sort of stubble/beard growth. I'm now shaving every few days and so look a lot smarter).

* New clothes/look. I have been wearing jacket, shirt, tie, and jeans every day for the last 10 days or so. It has been noticed (she accused me originally of going to a solicitor but those accusations have stopped now as of the best part of a week ago).

* No pleading/crying/begging etc. That all stopped probably two weeks ago. Again it was noticed immediately as she thought I was suddenly over her/seeking legal advice etc.

* Wearing glasses - almost the same as above. W had said for a long time how I should go and get my eyes tested because she were frequently tired through working on a computer a lot. I did that about 2 weeks ago now and have been wearing my new glasses since.

* Teeth - like above, I should have gone the dentist a long time ago but didn't for one reason or another. I have recently has a check up and go on Monday for some sort of small procedure. I'm excited about this as my smile (or lack of) had previously made me self conscious. I feel after Monday I will be far more confident in myself and therefore able to smile without hesitation.

* Manning up - after the crying/begging stage I went through a spell of being nice to her (as you may have seen if you've read any other posts in this thread), probably overly nice to the point of being a doormat. She reached a point where she wanted to move back in and have me move out of our house. I said no, and I wouldn't give her my key back to our house either. Since then I have noticed a bit more respect for me on her part.

*LRT/detaching - I have stopped sending texts for the most part (just child related). I am in the waiting stage now to see if she starts to instigate communication. She did send picture message of son's tooth having fallen out yesterday and a thank you text when I forwarded some school correspondance via text but nothing R related.

Today I went out and did some shopping with my sisters. I bought a new pair of jeans, some new shoes, and some golf shoes in preparation for my golf game at the weekend. I am considering signing up to a unlimited cinema pass and going this evening...on my own.

I am just wondering to myself what other 180s I could do. Generally I am feeling a lot better in myself than just a week or two ago. There are still bad moments throughout the days but I am dealing with them better. The waiting/worrying how things go is a problem for me. I am keeping busy to keep that down to a minimum but of course this is my W and family so it's impossible to just simply not think about them at some point or other every day.

In about 40 minutes I will go and get the kids from school, take them back. It is a nice day here and there is a park over the road from MIL's house. I am thinking I might take the kids there for a little bit to spend time with them that isn't me sitting like a lemon in MIL's front room whilst everyone tip toes around pretending I'm not there for the most part.

Weekend plans: Tomorrow daughter goes to ballet. W will have come off night shift and so I will probably take her. I am thinking of going out to the fair in the afternoon since we didn't get to do that last week. W won't be invited but I would be willing to let her come along if she asked. Our last 'family' activity was just over a week ago and at that point she said 'don't get your hopes up just because I've come out with you for tea'. I said, 'I know, we're just out for tea with the kids'. There's been less anger but also less communication over the last week...so good and bad I suppose. I just wish there was less anger and more communication, but I suppose all good things come to those who wait (well, here's hoping anyway).