Morningglory, Thank you for a thoughtful post...it made me feel much better. Those things are important to me and you are right, I'm getting alot more than I ever imagined from this.
Hairdog, I was thinking more along the lines of the suede flogger.
SuperDave, It's an interesting proposition to get back into racing. Last year I placed in the top 5 for the entire 12 race series which forces me to upgrade to the next class. I might need to keep this relationship thing consistent for this year, build up more trust, then do the racing next season. This way, she'll actually notice that I'm gone on the weekends. Oooh, wait, that sounds sort of vindictive.
I have to look at the pain I went through last year to be a fast cyclist. It wasn't always fun and I would say that I had more sex with trees, rocks, and dirt than i did in my marriage. I actually wonder if there's a relationship between my physical pain tolerance and emotional pain tolerance. Heck the training might be similar. Exert - rest, exert -rest.
I came to my company's office today to get a little distance from the house. W knew I was not feeling good because she tried to give a bunch of affection and kisses to me when I left. I just called home, left a message saying how good I thought she looked and that I "loved her".
Cemar, Your optimism inspires me. There actually may be some merit to asking to go outside the relationship for sex but not where we are right now. I need to show at least 1 year of consistency and patience. My post was definitely a low point which I need to shield W from. If I tried to talk to her about my feelings, she would have started feeling guilty, confused, lost and discouraged.
With or without her, I'm going to stay committed to this task. Last night was a low point - like having a crash while training for a race. I'm sure I will have some high points like the wins I experienced last year. If I'm going to keep this parallel going, then I should feel comforted in the fact that it now takes very little effort to maintain the physical gains I made last year. Maybe next year, I will be able to say the same thing about my emotional gains.
I just need to keep telling myself to "be worth her effort". Not be a pain in the ass. Stay consistent. Let her know the expectations. Then let her work towards them on her own.
As far as the list is concerned, pretend you never saw that massive, nasty thing I posted before. I'm keeping this one short and to the point and not making it sound like a love letter. 1. ML or sexual play every 3 days minimum 2. Nightly cuddle and kiss time ...how's that for a list?
15 PIECES OF FLAIR This whole thing reminds me of one my all time favorite movies Office Space. There's a scene where the manager of a restaurant (Stan) is giving Joanna (Jennifer Aniston) grief about her amount of "flair" (the goofy pins that TGI Friday emplyees wear on their suspenders). Here's the dialog......
Quote:
Stan: I need to talk about your flair. Joanna: Really? I have 15 buttons on. I, uh, (shows him) Stan: Well, ok, 15 is minimum, ok? Joanna: Ok. Stan: Now, it’s up to you whether or not you want to just do the bare minimum. Well, like Brian, for example, has 37 pieces of flair. And a terrific smile. Joanna: Ok. Ok, you want me to wear more? Stan: Look. Joanna. Joanna: Yeah. Stan: People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, ok? They come to Chotchkie’s for the atmosphere and the attitude. That’s what the flair’s about. It’s about fun. Joanna: Ok. So, more then? Stan: Look, we want you to express yourself, ok? If you think the bare minimum is enough, then ok. But some people choose to wear more and we encourage that, ok? You do want to express yourself, don’t you? Joanna: Yeah. Yeah. Stan: Great. Great. That’s all I ask. Joanna: Ok.
