This need not be the end.

[Barry]

Hi Mozza,

If there were any way to have the agreement drawn up without D, I'd do it but it's not possible. I told W that too. There is a chance she may not meet anyone, and I may not either. I just wanted her to know that I would take her back but only if she were 100% committed to a R with me again. She does know that I'll be moving on without her though.

Regarding the pursuit. I asked her on Monday if it was what she wanted but she didn't answer so I called her the following day to ask again and get an answer.
That was the last time I'll be asking that question now she's said that it IS what she wants. All I can do now is be strong for myself and kids. As I say, we did have a heartfelt conversation on the phone. I do love her and although things are ending between us in our M, I don't want it to be on bad terms regardless of the hurt I feel.

I have to think that this is the hand that fate has dealt me, and as much as I don't see it now, maybe it IS for the greater good. I haven't been happy for a long time in my M, neither has W. If this is what needs to happen for us both to be happy then so be it. I wish it could be different, but then I wish I drove a Ferrari too but that's not the case either. Wishes don't come true by themselves.

Even though this is ending, I'm going to keep posting here. This is all going to take some time to process and get over. Although it sounds like I'm giving up on DBing, I'm actually not. The ethos behind it all is sound and ultimately I never want to find myself in this position again. It's not all my fault but my view on myself, my M, and life in general hasn't been great and has contributed a lot to my sitch. Its time I stood up for what I want first and foremost now.