Quote: This aspect is killing me...I'm trying to reconnect with W only to find out that she's not someone I should be interested in. This effort might have been a mistake. Only time will tell.
The effort is NOT a mistake. I know it feels like it because of the appearant fruitlessness of the journey. Yes, it would have been easier to not bother, but then you would have guarenteed misery and either blindly suffered for another decade or at some point cracked and became a total jerk destroyed your family and hurt your children, and blindsided your wife. AND YOU would BE TOTALLY in the WRONG, even though your hurt feelings are valid, and left with lots of "what if's" unanswered. What you get from the Journey,
1# much important self knowlege, #2 Precious comunications skills that are and will continue to enhance all of your relationships, especially those with your children. #3 A much better understanding of women and the very real differences in how we think, process, understand things #4 You have become a much more incredible, insightful, wonderful, patient, loving man. You have grown in empathy and numerous other ways. #5 Your experiences and sharing help many other people. I would much rather you NOT have all this pain, however you allow your pain to teach, which gives meaning and value to it. #6 You have successfully communicated to your wife that this issue is important. Even if things don't work out this is so very worthwhile. #7 peace of mind in knowing that you literally turned over every leaf, worked extremely hard, changed bad habits, behaviors, attitudes. (it doesn't make the sitch less sad, but does eliminate the reasonable guilt of should have tried harder, maybes and what ifs) Integrity, you have lots. #8 if things don't work, you will know for certain that the differences truely were irriconcialable, not a lack of effort, not a lack of communication, not lazyness, not stupidity. (doesn't make things better, but otherwise you might be those things) #9 You are trustworthy, dependable, teachable, willing. A man of worth. #10 You have no idea what the future will bring and how the lessons learned on this journey will be incrediblly valuable. #11 You've gotten to experience much much more joy with your wife. Memories to love and treasure. Don't discount them.
