Is it really to late? Who knows....

[lost18]

Hmmm...interesting perspective Mahhhty. You're right in a way. I'm not in limbo, my life is moving forward. My M however is in limbo.

n.noun
2. A condition of prolonged uncertainty or neglect.

I agree there are lots of positives but I feel I need to keep grounded in reality and not ignore the less positive things.

I was reading a book and one section talked about limiting beliefs. In brief beliefs that include "always or never" (My H will never find me attractive again). So, I am trying steps to eliminate any limiting beliefs I have.

I have also made some changes in an interaction with H. It is common for one of us to leave without saying anything to the other or go to bed without saying good night. (This is something that was quite common even prior to BD). So, now I make a point to at least say "see ya later" before I leave and "good night" when he's going to bed. Little things, common courtesy.

I also realized I am doing less stuff with D13 outside than I was when he first got home, maybe because the time change and it gets dark earlier, but she has asked and have said no to her a lot lately. I definitely need to work on that, guess the time change will be a good thing.

So, not so positive report. I had posted a picture (joke about paying taxes that we've been dealing with the past few days) on his facebook page with a comment that "we have that covered and thanks for always working hard." He removed it from his page and I of course freaked out a little jumping to all sorts of conclusions about "WHY." Talked to my sister and she said ask him so I did. He said he doesn't want anything on his page right now because of his workman's comp claim. So, I'm glad I said something, although I'm still questioning the reasoning I'm trying to just take him at his word.

I'm in a pretty good place overall even with the uncertainty of my M but I don't know how long my patience will last....I miss being touched and held and all the physical things that come with a M. Sigh...