Dave, You know how my H described it? He said that he wanted me to "help" him get sexual. Meaning, he did not want me to pressure him, or do it for him, or 'set the stage' too much (creates pressure). He just wanted me to sortof coax it out of him, allow him to come out of his shell as naturally as possible.
So I would set the stage and then back down and let him take it from there. Believe me, there were MANY nights when he did not take it from there. But there were many nights when he did. So overall it was a win for me.
I STILL have to help him out. He still cannot be aggressive with his sexuality. This is a bone of contention with me but since everything else is really good (frequency, quality, etc) I am thinking that I will have to live with it.
So I hope this was clear in what I meant. Not to back off entirely, but to be very subtle and think more along the lines of "helping" her rather than enabling her, cause you really can't do it for her.
