You are both so right. And we had another (pretty bad) interaction today -- I was sick and it was snowing like crazy and needed his help) that sort of solidified the fact that there will be no good answer to the question of "why". And that we teach people how to treat us. .. just as their actions show us how to treat them.
Today was rough because I had expectations (feeling sick will do that).
Gotta drop the expectations.
Also saw that he hasn't changed much at all-- still difficult for him to see someone else's perspective, still so defensive and hyper sensitive about being pegged as the "bad guy".
He implied after our exchange today that I somehow make him feel guilty for requesting schedule changes. Well, I don't "make" anyone feel anything. So he projects onto me. He told me his mother tells him that he takes on too much and he should change the schedule more to meet his own needs... but he tells her no, because it "wouldn't be fair to" me.
So writes his own narrative in his head. I cannot control that. He does not want to (or cannot) work on himself and that is not my issue. He is a bit of a narcissist, and his family feeds that.
His mom thinks he is struggling with his life as a "divorced" dad? Maybe she could have advocated for our marriage. No one seems to want him to live with the consequences of his choices, and I'm seen as evil or selfish or difficult? Even though I do the great majority of childcare??
