Hey Dave,
Here is my advice--try to chill out a little. REALLY try to be empathetic to your wife and think about how she is feeling lately.

For instance, she was prolly freaking out the entire week you were gone, putting massive amounts of pressure on herself. Telling herself things like, He is going to be expecting me to jump his bones when he returns but that is not ME! And so on..

It is no wonder that she nearly talked herself out of it completely with thoughts of how tired she was.

It might be beneficial to step back and look at your situation objectively and think about how much brighter things look now than they did a year ago. She is taking baby steps towards being more sexual. Enjoy that and try not to push for more. Think of an area in your life in which you have been pressed to deliver more than you are ready to deliver--most likely, you retreated or became defensive or angry.

It is so hard for the HD person because you have been waiting literally for years for such a thing to happen--now you want it to happen overnight. Sex comes naturally and easy to us and the thinking goes: Once the LD person is over whatever hurdle was in their way, then sex will become easy and frequent.
It is more complicated than that, though. Not that I can give details on what it feels like (as I am on the same side of the fence as you) but I realize that it is more difficult than just "doing it" or they would have already tried that tactic.

Here is some hope for you: My husband was in a similar boat as your wife and he has made tremendous strides. At first he was SO awkward with trying to be sexual. It was obvious that it was forced, which greatly bothered me. What I later discovered was that he felt the feelings but had no clue how to express them. He had spent so much time being UN-sexual that he felt that he just couldn't do an about face and be sexual all of a sudden--he'd look ridiculous to me. He did make those changes sloooooooooowly but surely.

Give her some time to really internalize the message she read and to steel herself up to really make some long lasting changes. I'm afraid if you rush it, you will push her away.

Congrats on the good talk with her and the positive direction that your life seems to be taking!