I think you hit upon something. I am direct. Gently stating things is not my natural MO. When I ask questions, they probably do sound like an interrogation. The job thing, the one that H blew up about this morning, that is not a new sore spot. For some time I have made him feel like he was under pressure during these conversations. I just don't know how to avoid it. When I try to be gentle, he asked me to be more blunt. I can really never win. Any of this is loaded, because we already know where we stand with a lot of it, or rather he knows where I stand with it and he is still trying to figure out himself. Conversations get heated do quickly, even when what I ask is innocent, if it touches on an insecurity of his or a prior fight.
Which is why I thought written framework would be better...
Idk. As to your other post -
I think that is the conclusion he came to. Before he came back to our marriage, that he could work on himself and go on a journey, but he wanted new joys and new problems to solve with a new person in a new relationship.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
