I'm sorry things are feeling tough right now. I think you and H have made lots of progress in your sitch and I've enjoyed reading about it thinking - maybe I might be there one day.
But people say piecing is hard. Harder than DBing. In dbing, you are responsible for yourself and to en extent you 'protect' your heart by detaching. In piecing you open it to your S again, and that must feel scary.
It sounds like you are both making big efforts to move forwards - but it isn't without fits and starts - a couple of steps forwards - a step back and so on.
Good advice from Susana, and maybe a good idea to have a look at the piecing forum. Given all the progress you've made, it doesn't sound like you need to be thinking about D - just that you feel disappointed and disheartened, but will regroup. And your H sounds like he wants to do the same.
It will perhaps be good to maintain some of those 'personal interests' separate from H too - and the same for him, as they are a resource for you both if things get tricky from time to time.
I think you're both doing really well though Zelda ((()))
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
