Seperated, she is with someone - I'm desperate (2)

[sandi2]

Again, it's back to me needing to hear all of this and understand that she loves me like a dear friend or relative. ..as when I hear these words I tend to think if I am all of these things to you and you recognize how thoughtful I was trying to be then why kick me to the curb?

I wish I could tell you it is a positive sign, but it really isn't. Reading other threads show this is fairly common when some of the anger dies down and the WW is acting nicey-nice. It seems she was laying it on rather thick. Just bear in mind that she will switch to the extreme the first time you don't do something just like she wants.

Ah, and here it is:

I

messaged her today to remind her that I needed it. She said ok and then asked if I could come over at 630 and help her look for it. At the end of the work day I told her i had plans but could another night that worked for us both. This seemed to piss her off as she said no thank you and that she would find it and drop it off to S18.

She then went on to say she was sore from her skin cancer surgery on her nose and was just reaching out as she wanted to see me.

I responded that I had previous plans to have dinner with out of town guests from work. She then told me how I always put work before her and she guesses she made the right choice to leave.

I tried to validate by saying I can imagine how she felt that way for many years and that I had made a concerted effort to put my family first the last several years. She said yes in theory but in reality no. I said I did not realize she had wanted to see me, that I thought she just couldn't find the documents, to which I got a "I invited you over, what did you think?"

So now you are more confused and asking what this all means and why was she reaching out? I guess you didn't believe me, did you? When you pull back, it helps in getting some of the attraction flowing again, and it draws her toward you. It's just like a dance. You step forward.......she steps back. You step back......it pulls her closer in.

It is the same old story with WW's. She says something that you don't respond like the
she expected/wanted. It pi$$es her off, so she goes into a triad of guilting you and then making you think she was thinking of ------(fill in the blank) or reaching out... but now you've gone and blown it. It is WW BS/script. If you don't believe me, ask Starsky how many times he has read about it. I don't make this up.

Look, she even pulled the cancer guilt on you. Right, and I remember how she treated you over all of that, too. So all that sugary BS she was saying a few days ago? Meant nothing. She forgot it just as quick as she heard you say you had other plans! It's her wayward female feelings that got one tiny rejection and she's ready to hang you by your heels. And, you didn't have a clue. Never suspected she would see it as some rejection, right? Well, that's how it is. The WW can dish it out, but she can't take it.

Anyway, make no more mention to her about it. Go as NC as possible. If she text you with something, don't respond unless she asks a direct question. Then use as few words as possible to answer. She can't blow up and then think she can sugar coat it over with a couple of flowery TM. When she's rude, pull further back.

I meant to tell you something earlier, when I said she cared for you with feelings comparable to a relative. I know this is something guys can hardly bear to hear, so I want to add this part; her feelings of being "in love" with you can return. (Won't happen as long as she's has another guy in her head.) In fact, by her getting ticked over you turning her invite down b/c you had previous plans, could be seen as positive. Now she could just be acting like a spoiled a$$, but OTOH, she could have felt a twinge of jealousy. All you saw was her unleashing her anger. Quite an over reaction to something so small, don't you think?