THURS PM: Just finished another tough day here in DC. W found the final clue and note. We had a wierd exchange though because she thought the game was simply done...she said "that was fun" and I had to say "well, I'm not home yet" and she said "ohhh...now we're on the same page". I'm still trying to figure this out. Did she not understand that the final card was an innuendo for sex when I return? I guess, after doing this a few times, she will associate these activities with "sexual anticipation". She needs to start "thinking" like a sexual person again. Not sure if I'm the one to help though...it would probably irritate her. Maybe a series of games and play will do it.
I know that my latest posts have been "optimistic" sounding, but there is a deep burning inside my stomach that tells me that we aren't out of the weeds at all and that she is going to discover that her desire won't magically reappear despite everything I'm doing. At the very least, she will no longer feel justified by her lack of desire because I'm currently freakin', lovin', romancin', listenin', helpin' fiend right now. The challenge will be for me to keep it up when I'm not getting refueled by her. This effort is like driving your car at 50 mph in 1st gear....it burns fuel very fast.
Actually, this reminds me that traveling is probably good because it gives me a chance to rest. I've discovered so many similarities to physical training for endurance events. It's impossible to keep a consistently high level of effort. You must take breaks...that's when muscles grow. All trainers will tell you that recovery is absolutely critical, otherwise you will get slower and prone to illness and injury. It also takes time to build up to a level of fitness where you can sustain high output for long periods of time.
I hope you folks are reading this. I know it's been sort of boring because my sit is not dramatic right now. Being out of town provides me with a good chance to chill out but I cannot let this effort dwindle.
