Wife left me three weeks ago!

[alpha99]

Well, I have just dropped the kids off and come home. I was much more business like today. I only stayed for five minutes. W said goodbye as I went, briefly discussed pick up/drop off for tomorrow regarding the children. There is no animosity from her now, just nothing much in the way of kindess or affection either of course. Well, at least I seemed to have stopped the rot. I didnt' get the chance to go over the parenting plan but it is Friday tomorrow so I am sure there will be chance to do that before Monday comes.

We seemed to have plateaued at the moment. Things haven't gotten any worse in the last few days really. Granted, I have felt awful privately but the situation doesn't appear to have gotten worse. On the other hand, there hasn't been much improvement. I suppose it depends on how I look at it. No arguments really, that's a big tick. I have managed to back off and detach quite a bit. W does seem to have a safety net as long as she is living with her parents. She said that she was going to show me as we split how good she would be as a mum on her own because previously she was pretty bad and I was always the one spending time with the kids. Well, I can report that her parenting style hasn't changed and most of the brief time that I'm there she doesn't seem that bothered by looking after the children. I think if she does move into a new place of her own then things may suddenly hit home that she will be alone. W is 28. OM she is/was having affair with is apparently something like 43. I can't see him being interested in two young children being around all the time. My son as it happens is one of the most talkative little boys you are ever going to meet. He is incredibly hard work because he is so inquisitive and loves to talk constantly. W has suffered previously with that.

So, losing the ring aside, today has been OK. I have got back to work again today for the first time in about a month. Luckily being self employed that hasn't been a problem, and the company I do work with have been incredibly understanding. It is good to be back working and earning money again. We did have flights booked for a foreign holiday in early April. If I can afford it then I would love to take the kids on it still. W hasn't been granted all her holiday requests so she wouldn't be able to go anyway

I wonder what the next phase will be. We've had the madness, the crying, the doing all the wrong things, then we've had some 180s from myself, LRT has been implemented, cutting down contact to bare minimum. As I've said, that has stopped things from getting worse but the last few days appear to have stagnated things. I wonder how things will go next. I know time moves slowly and we are all hoping for quicker positive changes in our situation. I haven't written in my solutions journal for a day or so now because I've been so busy, so I must do that tonight, and have a review of what I've written over the last week at the same time.

This evening I am going to re-read DB or DR again to make sure I am not missing things from the first proper read through.