Can't sleep and can't turn off thoughts in my head of how confusing and painful this is. I keep imagining myself confronting him to ask why. Why was he unwilling to try? What would be the downside of choosing to believe that we could possibly fall in love again?
I try to think of a happy future without him and I imagine being a part time mom--missing big chunks of my D's life because she is at her dad's house. And I want to scream at him and tell him to F off.
It's so late and I need to sleep and I just can't seem to turn these thoughts off. I know I need to take control of my thoughts and get these negative thoughts out. But right now, when it's late and dark and quiet... I am having so much trouble doing that.
My triggers today: a stressful day at work... plus my difficult parents pressuring me to take a vacation with them that will be difficult to plan, plus an email from WAH with details about upcoming vacations he has planned.
