"She will have time to either miss me or time to play since she will be childless and alone for all that time."

This is still control on your part. Stop mindreading what she may or may not feel. It's not worth it.

And what have you been doing to make yourself stronger? Have you seen changes within yourself?

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER