Change the locks/install an alarm that triggers a call to the police.
State "treating this house like a hotel and waking me up is disrespectful, you can either be a respectful person or leave"
"I told you there were boundaries and this is one of them. I enjoy my sleep and won't allow you to take that away from me"
Oh and how about some LOUD music at 3:30 to start your day? Singing in the shower with Pandora blasting (get a few portable speakers if you don't have any)..... this will do two things 1. Drive home your point about being considerate of others 2. Start your day with AMAZING PMA. It's awesome what a good upbeat song or two will do for you.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
Change the locks/install an alarm that triggers a call to the police.
State "treating this house like a hotel and waking me up is disrespectful, you can either be a respectful person or leave"
"I told you there were boundaries and this is one of them. I enjoy my sleep and won't allow you to take that away from me"
Oh and how about some LOUD music at 3:30 to start your day? Singing in the shower with Pandora blasting (get a few portable speakers if you don't have any)..... this will do two things 1. Drive home your point about being considerate of others 2. Start your day with AMAZING PMA. It's awesome what a good upbeat song or two will do for you.
Yea Starsky, I am kicking myself for not listening to you a year ago. My life might be totally different if I had been more consistent in following your advice.
Listen to everything Starsky tells you. He knows his stuff.
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
Man i tell you it is really hard to see the forest especially the green when everything seems so dead. When you reference stubborn what exactly do you mean starsky. can you give exact references. i tend to find myself drawn back into this situation and i believe that is her goal. i will try and detach and then there will be some kind of drama. i just need to stop being stubborn and let her do/ and act how she wants without any reaction.
I meant "stubborn" in my sitch, because I refused to listen to people who were telling me that my wife WAS going to have an affair, because I was intentionally no longer meeting her emotional needs (because she wasn't meeting mine, or my physical needs). I just kept saying "No, she'd never do that -- she's not that kind of girl."
I was a fool, and it nearly cost me my marriage, my intact family and my future.
Ahhh ok i understand! I do have a question that is by far a very sticky sitch. I know that W is w/OM. My question is this should i avoid even my female friends she seems to be snooping and making wild claims about what i am doing. I do not need anymore drama they way it is and it seems like she is searching for stuff!
Rysin, sorry things haven't started well with your W staying. I agree that you should confirm boundaries with her. I don't think you should avoid female friends because of what your W says. But I do think you should take care to ensure your interactions with them stand up well to any scrutiny. Otherwise, your W is welcome to whatever thoughts she may have...IMHO.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Rysin, sorry things haven't started well with your W staying. I agree that you should confirm boundaries with her. I don't think you should avoid female friends because of what your W says. But I do think you should take care to ensure your interactions with them stand up well to any scrutiny. Otherwise, your W is welcome to whatever thoughts she may have...IMHO.
Yeah, W seems to really love drama right now. She just sent me a lengthy email about our encounter lastnight. She expressed that she was trying to be quiet, and she said she would park in the street to avoid waking me up. Then she transitions right into telling me she knows I have had a dinner and watched a movie with OM's ex. And that all the second hand info I am receiving needs to stop. she then went into a speech about me talking to family and Friends and calling her names like, callous, selfish, and and disrespectful. And she feels like it is destructive to our situation. And she feels like she doesn't do it to me. I almost responded but I didnt. The only answer I gave her was the street parking is best thank you.
Do you think I answered that correctly, I wanted to address the statement about me talking and calling her names to other people but I didnt. I do not believe those are name calling or talking crap. It is a observation of the situation and how it is being handled. Well that is from my side of things.
