Wife left me three weeks ago!

[alpha99]

This evening has been quite a bit of fun but at the same time very hard emotionally. I have been out with the children. We had a good time. My mother came, she is not very bright, and was more harm than help. Anyway, I took the children back and my wife just turned up at the house at the same time. She was smiling and trying to be overly nice with me. I wasn't in a very good mood. I didn't shout or anything but I didn't want to speak to her. She stepped outside with me onto the front step to ask why I was behaving so. I just said there's nothing left to say, mentioned something about the kids, and said goodbye. She tried to continue the conversation by asking about the children, who was picking them up, dropping them off for school etc. She was being strangely nice and I found it very, very annoying.

One thing I have been thinking about is that early December last year my wife went through a spell of being overly nice with me. She would instigate oral sex multiple times a week. At the time it seemed a bit odd that she was overly 'friendly' but I thought little about it. Obviously with hindsight it turns out that she was feeling guilty about what she had been up to. Now, in the last day or two I have posted here about her being nicer to me. I get the same feeling that it is guilt emanating from her. The football match is tonight that she has tickets for. The argument with her folks and desire to move back home probably comes from them not wanting to mind the kids all the time whilst she goes out. I don't know these things for certain and could be wrong, but this has left me in a very foul mood this evening.

I have to work this evening as well, which I don't feel like doing, so it is a crap evening all round. I hope tomorrow is a better day because I have to say that right now, for probably the first time, I have just been thinking to myself that maybe the cheap little tart isn't worth all this hassle and I would be better off just getting things over and done with and proceeding on with divorce myself. I think of her in a clinch with OM and it makes me feel sick. Then I think of our children and the life they may have because of her actions. I do want things to work out I suppose, and I think I'm just having a bad day, but I feel so frustrated it is unbelievable. At the moment I can't stand her and don't want to speak to her. That will probably make detachment a hell of a lot easier.